Please raise your right hand.

We went to the county auditor, housed in a cedar shingled municipal building tucked under a thick growth of pines, and got us a marriage license. We had to read and sign our agreement on a paragraph that stated we were not second cousins, under 18, or carrying an STD unbeknownst to our partner. Then we had to raise our right hands (left hands on nothing) and swear we had read it, and it's true. We're pretty sure it's done this way so the nice lady at the county auditor's office doesn't have to point blank ask us if we have STDs.

We be all legal for the matrimony!!